I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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