My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
