she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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