She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
