is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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