DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
