I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
