Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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