Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
