Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
