yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
