you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They took my balls.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
