just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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