He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
