Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
