I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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