Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Someone came in the potted fern
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
