he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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