is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
