a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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