i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
