Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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