don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize