can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
