you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
