make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
