Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
