I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
