we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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