Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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