there was a trapeze. enough said
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
