I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize