I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
