so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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