Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
