the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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