i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
