We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
