2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize