I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize