U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
home. puking in laundry basket.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
