So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
