so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
