his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize