It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
