Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
