escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
