so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
please come you make the beer taste better
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
