Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
