theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
