I just made out with a guy for $7.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
