But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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