Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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