ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
ok first of all what the fuck
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
