Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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