Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
