after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
