Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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