If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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