You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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