Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
