would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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