Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
